Lawyerisms

Lawyerisms: These are silly things that lawyers, including me, sometimes say. Therefore, I hereby undertake to cease and desist from their further use. Well, I'll try:

• “I’ll take that under advisement” (advisement?) when what you really mean is “I need to take some time to think about that” or “I’m not sure. I’ll get back to you”. I looked up “advisement” in an ordinary online dictionary and was advised “no dictionary result”. Shocking. I’ll have to check my big fat lawyer’s dictionary when I get back to the home office. (Wait! I can’t because I gave it away – well, that was probably a step in the right direction)

• “I trust you will govern yourself accordingly” when what you really mean is “back off or I’ll sue you”.

• My formal professional title is “Barrister, Solicitor, Notary Public and Trade-mark Agent”. So here’s a question: Does anybody outside of England know what a “barrister” or “solicitor” is? Is there some reason why I can’t just be a lawyer? Besides, I’ve never been too comfortable with the idea that I’m somehow, you know, soliciting.